Forgiven
by Amanda Wolfe
Summary: But what is the true meaning of forgiveness? I neither seek nor deserve it... Full Summary to come O.o. Rated T for later chapters maybe?


**Chapter One**

If only we had a choice in what we were born into.

Granted, we can choose what we become, but ho we are never changes. People compare us to our family members before us. Deciding by our ancestor's actions whether we're worthy enough to even bother talking to. They decide where we live, in the slums and ghettoes? Or in the upscale, gated communities?

Even in this new form of government, this 'better' form, with our new fuehrer, our 'wise' leader, nothing has changed but the dog's uniforms.

Poor people get poorer and rich people get richer. The civil wars and uprising are bringing everyone down. All because of the military. They are the problem.

Which means I was part of the problem as well. I was born into it, like my father, and my father's father before him. Born to sit up and beg, to roll over or play dead on command. I have killed. During the massacre, I killed men, women, and children, without a second thought. Am I ashamed? Of course. I've been told to forgive and forget. But what is the true meaning of forgiveness? I neither seek nor deserve it. And do we ever truly forget? Aren't all our memories just stored deep within our own minds? Pilled beneath one another? And aren't the worst always resurrected by the slightest thing, to stay in your minds eye for hours, to give us nightmares..?

Perhaps I just have too much spare time on my hands now, to think of such things. There's work to be done. Paper work. I dislike sitting behind a desk all day, writing until my wrist is sore and cramped. It is a waste of my talents, but I'd rather be here than out there. I wake up every morning to my lonely, empty apartment, hoping to god I'll have a mile high stack of papers to sign, or perhaps an office errand to run for the colonel. Today would be one of _those _days…

"Lieutenant Colonel Castell, ma'am!"

I glanced up at the young, dark haired man. He stood rigid, hands at his side, awaiting my word. "Sergeant Major Furey…" I leaned back in my chair slightly, raising my arms above my head and stretching, "Can I help you?"

"Yes ma'am, Colonel Mustang requests your presence immediately!"

I sighed and stood. Visiting Roy was a welcome event. His pathetic endeavors to try to 'cheer me up' were quite amusing. However, there was something in Furey's voice that didn't suggested this was going to be a personal stopover. "I'll be there as soon as I finish this portfolio-"

The short subordinates face twisted slightly "It's urgent, ma'am…"

"Of course…I'll be right there…" I could feel a lump creeping into my throat. What could be so urgent? I grabbed my jacket off the back of my chair and pulled it over my yellow tank top, buttoning it up as I followed Cain out the door. "Did he say what it was about?"

"No, ma'am…he just said that it was a very urgent matter concerning you and another alchemist…"

As we came closer and closer to the superior's office, I became more and more nervous. What the hell had I done? Did I piss someone off? I mean, I tried not to, but I always seemed to aggravate someone. Last year, I was lectured for near an hour about this sort of 'misbehavior',

My hand clasped the cold door knob, turning it slowly until it clicked. I pushed the creaky door open, and…

"Jesus Christ, you called me all the way up here for this again?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

The two men grinned at me. One was my boss, the dark eyed, pale skinned man known as Roy Mustang. The other was my brother…Half brother, anyways. From my father's first marriage, he was almost 20 years older than me. Tall, blond hair, tan skin, and blue eyes that always seemed to be squished shut with a smile. A great guy to be around.

Unless, of course, he's only around to dump his kids on you while he goes on a vacation. I glanced to the couch on the left side of the room. Three girls, between the ages of 6 and 15 stared back at me. Each with a different expression on their face.

The youngest, a grinning girl with long blonde, clutched a small tote bag and a beat up old teddy bear. Maria Castell, my littlest niece.

The second, a dark haired girl with soft, brown eye smiled at me from her wheel chair. Casey Castell. She was only 13 and already so mature. She had few friends (I know this because I often talked to her concerned father over the phone about it) and was extremely shy.

And the third… Her face was twisted into a disgusting frown, her blue eyes glazed over as she stared apathetically at the wall. Meghan and I never got along. Probably because her mother never liked me much. I don't know…I was 7 years old when she was born, meaning we weren't that far apart age wise. Being David's (my brother) first born, and the first grandchild in the family, she was spoiled rotten.

"Hey kiddo!" David greeted me with a firm slap to the back "You wouldn't mind watching these three while the wife and I get away for a week?"

"A WEEK?" My eyes widened and I gasped "I can't take care of anything for a week!"

"Well…two weeks actually…"

I blinked and turned towards him "You're kidding, right?"

I shook his head "Nope, 'fraid not"

"Why can't Marco or Kali watch them?" I asked, referring to my other older siblings.

"Marco's too busy and Kali's pregnant!"

"So?"

"Please Kai, just this once and I'll never ask for anything ever again!"

I looked around him to the three girls. Maria waved frantically. I sighed and glanced to Roy, that stupid smirk plastered on his face. With a sigh I nodded, "Alright…but if they cause any trouble, I'm sending them back to you in a shoebox…"

David grinned and wrapped his huge arms around me in a hug, nearly squeezing all the breath out of my comparably tiny body. After letting me go, he went to his daughters and kissed their foreheads. "Be good for Auntie Kai, okay, girls?"

The younger two nodded, Meghan just rolled her eyes and blew a loose strand of blonde hair out of her face.

"Goodbye Colonel!" He added just as the door closed behind him.

"I guess I'll…take you guys home?" I said unsurely.

"Ladies, would you please step out side, I have to speak to your aunt in private for a moment?"

Meghan drug her feet across the rug towards the door "Whatever…" She muttered. Maria and Casey gave each other an uncertain look and followed their sister out the door.

Roy motioned me towards his desk I took the seat across from him and raised an eyebrow. "So?"

"So what?"

"What Am I in trouble for this time?"

He smirked and flipped through some papers that lay in unorganized mess on his desk. "Who says you're in trouble?"

"Then what is it?"

"Maybe it's nothing…perhaps I just enjoy your company?" He gave me a sly look.

I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"Or, perhaps, it has something to do with this?" He held a manila folder out across the desk.

I frowned again and flipped through the pages. More reports to fill out. Something about a State Alchemist named Edward. "Fullmetal?" I looked up at him "I don't usually review these sorts of reports…"

"You know the Elric brothers?"

"Yeah." Indeed I did. Everyone knew them.

"Well, Little Edward's been a bit sloppy on his reports and I want _you _to go over them and tell me what he hasn't done"

"Wonderful" I muttered, now examining the first page closer. Neat hand writing, but the parts I read were a grammatical horror. Doodles of god-knows-what were sketched in the margins "This'll be fun"

"Certainly, it'll be no problem for you! Perchance, you could even help him re-write them?"

I sighed and closed the folder. "Alright, but don't expect me to baby-sit him…"

_This wasn't going to be a good week…"_

_**A/N: K, hoped you liked it. Updated whenever I have time! Kthxbi**_

_**Amanda**_


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